As I was explaining how fascinated I was with this process to my mother, she said something that honestly chilled my spine. "Well, you better hurry up and make the corrections, because after that, you'll have to start querying publishers and agents!" And so I stopped and stared at her, thinking, "It's only going to take me maybe a week or two to finish the corrections...and then I'll ACTUALLY have to take this seriously."
You see, to be completely honest, I never have believed that my book was actually going to be published, or accepted, and therefore I really haven't given that much thought to how I'm going to query an agent or send off my manuscript to a publishers. I mean, I'm fourteen years old! And though this is what I want more than anything else in the world, to realize that it may actually come true or get flung in my face is really quite intimidating, and not to mention terrifying.
Yes, of course I've been researching agents and publishers (desperately traveling back to Barry Goldblatt, the agent of my dreams, and Simon & Schuster, the publishing house of my dreams). But that all makes me think, "Am I actually going to compete with authors like Stephenie Meyer? Cassandra Clare? Libba Bray? Holly Black? Catherine Fisher? ETC ETC???? I mean who am I to think that I'm equal or even better than them? Who am I to allow my characters to compete with my idols?
And still, that's what I want more than ever! Reality has set in, and the fact of the matter is that I am going to have to make a very big decision. And, yes, the truth may hurt, but I have to be honest with myself.......AM I REALLY READY????
The answer is: No. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to get hurt, to be confused, to hundreds of rejections letters. I'm not ready to send out the one thing that matters to me most. I'm not ready to throw away over 5 years of hard work. But I want this. I want to be a famous, published, author. I want to walk by a bookstore, and have my book in the display case! And if I really want that, then it doesn't matter if I have to get hurt to get that....
I don't care, I'm going to do it anyway.
BUT I can't do it alone. I need your help. I need your support. For if I have people behind me, I know that I can do this. I know that when I fall, I'll be able to get back up, and try again. So please, follow me, comment on my things, and let me know that I'm not completely insane (though I might be just a bit)!
What happens when reality sets in? You freeze, you panic, you question, and you want it bad enough????