Sunday, January 23, 2011

What Happens When Reality Sets In?

So, the other day, my editor sent me back some revisions. It was really interesting to see what she thought, and how I could improve on the plot, the characters, and the story, to make it much more believable. For example: "What happened to Drayke's jacket when his wings grew?" Being so caught up over the main characters' adventure, I really never thought about Drayke's jacket! So, what did happen to it........?

As I was explaining how fascinated I was with this process to my mother, she said something that honestly chilled my spine. "Well, you better hurry up and make the corrections, because after that, you'll have to start querying publishers and agents!" And so I stopped and stared at her, thinking, "It's only going to take me maybe a week or two to finish the corrections...and then I'll ACTUALLY have to take this seriously."

You see, to be completely honest, I never have believed that my book was actually going to be published, or accepted, and therefore I really haven't given that much thought to how I'm going to query an agent or send off my manuscript to a publishers. I mean, I'm fourteen years old! And though this is what I want more than anything else in the world, to realize that it may actually come true or get flung in my face is really quite intimidating, and not to mention terrifying.

Yes, of course I've been researching agents and publishers (desperately traveling back to Barry Goldblatt, the agent of my dreams, and Simon & Schuster, the publishing house of my dreams). But that all makes me think, "Am I actually going to compete with authors like Stephenie Meyer? Cassandra Clare? Libba Bray? Holly Black? Catherine Fisher? ETC ETC???? I mean who am I to think that I'm equal or even better than them? Who am I to allow my characters to compete with my idols?

And still, that's what I want more than ever! Reality has set in, and the fact of the matter is that I am going to have to make a very big decision. And, yes, the truth may hurt, but I have to be honest with myself.......AM I REALLY READY????

The answer is: No. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'm not ready to get hurt, to be confused, to hundreds of rejections letters. I'm not ready to send out the one thing that matters to me most. I'm not ready to throw away over 5 years of hard work. But I want this. I want to be a famous, published, author. I want to walk by a bookstore, and have my book in the display case! And if I really want that, then it doesn't matter if I have to get hurt to get that....

I don't care, I'm going to do it anyway.

BUT I can't do it alone. I need your help. I need your support. For if I have people behind me, I know that I can do this. I know that when I fall, I'll be able to get back up, and try again. So please, follow me, comment on my things, and let me know that I'm not completely insane (though I might be just a bit)!

What happens when reality sets in? You freeze, you panic, you question, and you want it bad enough????



bell said...

everything will work out for the best i belive that it will from what ive herd about it and i know ur sooo awsome at wrighting so keep at it and probaly wont happen but if and i mean if big if here people u fall get up and try again couse ull find it will happen amd ull be a best selling auther in to time never give up jamajam

Susan said...

Yes!!! Fight and fight harder and KEEP FIGHTING!!! Go for your dream and it will happen :)

Alex Meglio said...

You got this Gemma. You've earned it. Who says you're not as good as any of those other authors? I sure don't! Keep doing you Gemma!!!

Tracey Frimpong said...

You haven't heard from me in a while have you. Alex emailed me this. Well all I can say is that Gemma, you should persue your dreams because if you don't you may never know what you could have been.

Tracey Frimpong said...

Haven't heard from me in a while have you. ;). Alex sent me the link. Well all I can say is that Gemma, you have the skills to pursure your dreams. And go after it. Chase it until it kills you. Because you may never know, what you could have become (WILL).